Episode 138: Our Biggest Lessons of 2022

Hello, Wedding Party!

This will be the last episode of 2022! It’s that time of year where Glen & Yvette are taking a step back so they can enjoy quality time with family and friends. But as they prepare for much needed rest, they wanted to leave you with the lessons they’ve learned this year!

The Value of Mentorship

After watching Glen invest in a mentor, Yvette decided to get mentorship of her own! She reached out to a fellow mom and the wife that did their premarital counseling and it has been a huge blessing in her life.

While Yvette’s mentorship has been free, Glen’s mentorship was an investment that he feels was incredibly valuable. Their advice and wisdom while you move through life is worth it when it saves you the immense amount of time and mistakes you would’ve made on your own. Doing life with others that way is so rewarding!

Everyone You Have Advice for Isn’t Called to Your Leadership

As a father, Glen desires to be the source of inspiration for his kids, but this year, he has learned that while he has plenty of advice for his children, he may not be called to be a mentor for them. Sometimes someone outside your circle, such as a pastor, will be best for your children’s growth.

He’s also learned that some people are called to his specific leadership, and he is seeing the blessing he can be to a younger generation. Now having mentorship above, next to, and under him, he is discovering the fullness of it.

The Importance of Communicating Well and When to Stop Talking

Open up lines of communication for yourself and how you interpreted what your partner said. By doing this, Yvette has learned that by over-communicating, she never has to guess what Glen, her kids, or friends are thinking because she’s ready and willing to have those conversations up front. Clarity arises when there’s adequate communication.

But on the other hand, Glen is learning that there are times when you have to stop communicating and let your partner process. Know when your partner is whelmed by your words and let them sit with it.

Tomorrow is Not Promised & Presence is a Gift

This year has opened Yvette’s eyes to life’s uncertainties. Tomorrow is never promised and it’s important to not only live each day well, but to appreciate the people around you. Presence is a gift. The people around us are meaningful simply by being alive and with us and it’s important to take the time to be grateful for that.

Boundaries are a Way to Love Others Well

One of Yvette’s mentors taught her that boundaries are a bridge to love. Whether it’s marriage, parent-to-child, friends, etc, boundaries aren’t walls to keep people out, but healthy access points. They allow for back and forth without causing tension. Glen has also observed boundaries’ important role in their lives. Growing up in the black community, he has noticed that boundaries are treated more like sandcastles that wither away over time. But he knows that boundaries are foundational. While Yvette is still developing how that looks for her marriage, she is implementing boundaries to enrich her life and those around her.

“Missing you doesn’t mean I forgive you any more than your silence means you’re sorry.”

Christina Mahr

The Importance of Pausing an Argument

Arguments will arise in any relationship, especially marriage. But knowing when to hit “pause” is a skill Glen is learning to put into practice more often. When an argument gets to a point where anger overrides resolution, therapy has taught him that they can pause, take a breath, then either approach the conversation in a new light or address it in therapy.

Embrace the Duality of Life

After these past two episodes talking about Yvette’s single season, she is learning to embrace the duality of life. She can both love her family and mourn her former independence. She can be really happy in one area in her life and be sad that some relationships in her life aren’t doing as well. She’s noted that not accepting duality negates feelings on both sides and festers resentment. Give yourself permission to feel both sides of the spectrum.

As for the new year, you’ll find Glen growing in his intentionality with time. He hopes to take time for things like breath work and rest amidst his busyness.

Thank you for tuning in, Wedding Party! We will see y’all in the New Year!

The HMAY Team

Grab the freebie: Serve Your Spouse Well!

Become a Patron!

Hello, Wedding Party!

This will be the last episode of 2022! It’s that time of year where Glen & Yvette are taking a step back so they can enjoy quality time with family and friends. But as they prepare for much needed rest, they wanted to leave you with the lessons they’ve learned this year!

The Value of Mentorship

After watching Glen invest in a mentor, Yvette decided to get mentorship of her own! She reached out to a fellow mom and the wife that did their premarital counseling and it has been a huge blessing in her life.

While Yvette’s mentorship has been free, Glen’s mentorship was an investment that he feels was incredibly valuable. Their advice and wisdom while you move through life is worth it when it saves you the immense amount of time and mistakes you would’ve made on your own. Doing life with others that way is so rewarding!

Everyone You Have Advice for Isn’t Called to Your Leadership

As a father, Glen desires to be the source of inspiration for his kids, but this year, he has learned that while he has plenty of advice for his children, he may not be called to be a mentor for them. Sometimes someone outside your circle, such as a pastor, will be best for your children’s growth.

He’s also learned that some people are called to his specific leadership, and he is seeing the blessing he can be to a younger generation. Now having mentorship above, next to, and under him, he is discovering the fullness of it.

The Importance of Communicating Well and When to Stop Talking

Open up lines of communication for yourself and how you interpreted what your partner said. By doing this, Yvette has learned that by over-communicating, she never has to guess what Glen, her kids, or friends are thinking because she’s ready and willing to have those conversations up front. Clarity arises when there’s adequate communication.

But on the other hand, Glen is learning that there are times when you have to stop communicating and let your partner process. Know when your partner is whelmed by your words and let them sit with it.

Tomorrow is Not Promised & Presence is a Gift

This year has opened Yvette’s eyes to life’s uncertainties. Tomorrow is never promised and it’s important to not only live each day well, but to appreciate the people around you. Presence is a gift. The people around us are meaningful simply by being alive and with us and it’s important to take the time to be grateful for that.

Boundaries are a Way to Love Others Well

One of Yvette’s mentors taught her that boundaries are a bridge to love. Whether it’s marriage, parent-to-child, friends, etc, boundaries aren’t walls to keep people out, but healthy access points. They allow for back and forth without causing tension. Glen has also observed boundaries’ important role in their lives. Growing up in the black community, he has noticed that boundaries are treated more like sandcastles that wither away over time. But he knows that boundaries are foundational. While Yvette is still developing how that looks for her marriage, she is implementing boundaries to enrich her life and those around her.

“Missing you doesn’t mean I forgive you any more than your silence means you’re sorry.”

Christina Mahr

The Importance of Pausing an Argument

Arguments will arise in any relationship, especially marriage. But knowing when to hit “pause” is a skill Glen is learning to put into practice more often. When an argument gets to a point where anger overrides resolution, therapy has taught him that they can pause, take a breath, then either approach the conversation in a new light or address it in therapy.

Embrace the Duality of Life

After these past two episodes talking about Yvette’s single season, she is learning to embrace the duality of life. She can both love her family and mourn her former independence. She can be really happy in one area in her life and be sad that some relationships in her life aren’t doing as well. She’s noted that not accepting duality negates feelings on both sides and festers resentment. Give yourself permission to feel both sides of the spectrum.

As for the new year, you’ll find Glen growing in his intentionality with time. He hopes to take time for things like breath work and rest amidst his busyness.

Thank you for tuning in, Wedding Party! We will see y’all in the New Year!

The HMAY Team

Grab the freebie: Serve Your Spouse Well!

Become a Patron!

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