While filming the Premarital Advantage E-Course, Yvette just froze. She could see Glen doing an incredible job speaking on the module topic, but in the moment, felt inadequate, as if her husband’s giftings made her less than.
One of the hardest parts of marriage is the comparison and competition game we find ourselves in with our spouses. We see what they do and feel compelled to operate the same way, instead of allowing them to operate in their giftings. Or, we compare our partners to us, expecting them to do things as well as we do and the way that we do them. Glen told Yvette, “You’re competing with me,” and he was right. She was jealous of the freedom she imagined he had.
But a day at the office changed her mind. As different employees came up to ask Glen questions, Yvette could see that everyone needed something from him, just like the kids do with her at home. She had a false sense of what freedom is for him.
Taking Ownership
Yvette also reflected on the phrase she finds herself using when comparing herself to Glen, “You make me feel like.” As in, “Your giftings make me feel less than.” But she needs to allow her husband to operate in his gifting while affirming her unique set of gifts, and take ownership of her emotions. Instead of “You make me feel like,” it can become, “I feel ____,” and then check in with yourself. Why are you feeling this way? Empower yourself in the blessings you bring to the table.
When you choose a sports team, you don’t choose people who can do exactly what you do. You choose people who have strengths in areas you don’t. You choose the tall guy that can reach higher. You choose the guy who is very strong. You choose the player that has the strategy. Each gift makes for the perfect team. That’s how Glen chose Yvette. He saw the sturdiness of her life – something he lacked at that time – and decided to partner with her so that he could grow in that area and compliment her gift. She was the kind of woman who knew what she wanted and had a plan to get there, and he knew she would never let him settle for less than his dreams.
The differences in our giftings allow us to be sturdy where our partners are not. It’s a blessing in marriage to get to lend your strengths and sturdiness, and we’re all better for it!
Thank you for listening and reading the show notes! We will see you for the next episode!
The HMAY Team
Grab the freebie: Serve Your Spouse Well!
While filming the Premarital Advantage E-Course, Yvette just froze. She could see Glen doing an incredible job speaking on the module topic, but in the moment, felt inadequate, as if her husband’s giftings made her less than.
One of the hardest parts of marriage is the comparison and competition game we find ourselves in with our spouses. We see what they do and feel compelled to operate the same way, instead of allowing them to operate in their giftings. Or, we compare our partners to us, expecting them to do things as well as we do and the way that we do them. Glen told Yvette, “You’re competing with me,” and he was right. She was jealous of the freedom she imagined he had.
But a day at the office changed her mind. As different employees came up to ask Glen questions, Yvette could see that everyone needed something from him, just like the kids do with her at home. She had a false sense of what freedom is for him.
Taking Ownership
Yvette also reflected on the phrase she finds herself using when comparing herself to Glen, “You make me feel like.” As in, “Your giftings make me feel less than.” But she needs to allow her husband to operate in his gifting while affirming her unique set of gifts, and take ownership of her emotions. Instead of “You make me feel like,” it can become, “I feel ____,” and then check in with yourself. Why are you feeling this way? Empower yourself in the blessings you bring to the table.
When you choose a sports team, you don’t choose people who can do exactly what you do. You choose people who have strengths in areas you don’t. You choose the tall guy that can reach higher. You choose the guy who is very strong. You choose the player that has the strategy. Each gift makes for the perfect team. That’s how Glen chose Yvette. He saw the sturdiness of her life – something he lacked at that time – and decided to partner with her so that he could grow in that area and compliment her gift. She was the kind of woman who knew what she wanted and had a plan to get there, and he knew she would never let him settle for less than his dreams.
The differences in our giftings allow us to be sturdy where our partners are not. It’s a blessing in marriage to get to lend your strengths and sturdiness, and we’re all better for it!
Thank you for listening and reading the show notes! We will see you for the next episode!
The HMAY Team
Grab the freebie: Serve Your Spouse Well!
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